Frequently Asked Questions: The Rights of Marriage
Q: As a married couple, you can choose a final resting place for your deceased spouse. Can a same-sex couple do the same?
A: Not without paying a lawyer to draw up a living will, and even then if one of the families disagrees with your choice, they can contest the will (at an additional cost to you, the surviving partner).
Q: If one same sex partner dies, the surviving partner has no automatic right to a share of his or her partner’s estate if the partner dies without a will. True or False?
A: True, plus the fact that even if there is a will, those “gifts” or “bequests” will be subject to taxes — often at a high rate. A married couple has automatic inheritance in the absence of a will, and all gifts or bequests to the spouse are not taxed.
Q: When one member of a couple dies, the appliances, the DVD, the car, grandma’s dishes, the jewelry, the furniture all goes to the surviving partner. True or False?
A: If you are married, this is true. When one member of an unmarried couple dies, the survivor has to prove ownership of every item in the household or risk facing a massive tax bill for the property “acquired” from the one who dies. If ownership can’t be proven, then the deceased partner’s legally recognized blood relatives can simply claim everything.
Q: If one unmarried partner inherits the other’s 401 (k), 403 (b) or other tax sheltered retirement fund (as the beneficiary – the only option open to same-sex couples) is it the same benefit for a married couple?
A: No, even as a beneficiary there is a 20% tax on the inheritance. A married spouse automatically receives the FULL pension benefit (with no tax) and continuing payments from the deceased spouse’s employer until the spouse also dies. There is NO continuing payment for the surviving partner of a same-sex couple.
Q: Do married couples have difficulty purchasing life insurance for each other?
A: NO, but for same sex partners it is extremely difficult to purchase life insurance on one another (sometimes for the purpose of paying estate taxes) because the insurance companies argue that their interests in each other are not insurable.
Q: Will The News-Gazette list the surviving partner of a same-sex couple in an obituary?
A: There is a cost of $300.00 to list any “non-standard” items in an obituary. Even if you choose to pay for this option, they may not list the name of the surviving partner, but put something like “survived by an extended family” at the END of the obituary. Married couples pay nothing to have their spouse’s name and children’s names listed.
Q: Are the following options freely open to same-sex couples that are open to married people:
• Anniversary cards depicting your specific relationship?
• Rights to stay overnight in your partner’s hospital room?
• Bereavement or sick leave to care for a partner or child?
A: No. Same-sex anniversary cards are available at specialty stores only. Hospitals may deny unmarried same-sex and opposite-sex partners the opportunity to stay with their partner overnight. Bereavement and sick leave are denied to employees who are not married to their partners and who are not the legal parent of a child unless the company specifically offers these benefits.